Blame it on the Boogie

Hola, aquí incluyo un fragmento de un poema que escribí, acepto cualquier crítica. Cáguenlo si quieren.

Nails

Upon the roof, he's gettin' asleep.
He yelled at people but no one paid attention.
He's hysterical, they were catchin' butterflies,
jumpin' out of the windows, car noises,
airplanes fallin' over dead bodies.

...Dig that, dig that, Can you dig it?
Brian's hidious... the burned rubber made him dizzy.
...someone please, take those things out of his brain!
...he's doomed, really screwed up, stupidity.
it was 11:00 a.m when they told me this story.

Listo, gracias.

Moneros excelentes: El Fisgón, Jis, Hernández, Patricio, Helguera, Trino, Sergio Aragonés, Rius y José Quintero. Chéquenlos por favor. Saludos.